Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Thank You, Anonymous College Student

One look at the computer screen, and the tears started pooling in my eyes.  How could the prices have gone up that much in only 24 hours?  I buried my head in my hands and cried -- tears of sadness, tears of anxiety.

Every year, we board a plane and travel across the ocean to visit family -- the one time each year when my children get to see, enjoy, and bond with their paternal grandparents.   And every year, my heart sinks just a little bit more when I look at the rising cost of flying.

But it's not really about the money.  It never is.  This annual trip is worth it, regardless of the price tag attached.  And we've always had enough, more than enough, to travel each year.

So why, then, did my heart sink and my fingers tremble when i saw those numbers on the screen?

Because it's really about sonship.  It always is.  I have a Heavenly Father who faithfully and abundantly provides, yet I regularly live like I'm an orphan.  My heart can fear and my fingers can hoard because deep down, I forget that I'm His child.

I know it in my mind -- that I'm a daughter of God -- but I live like my Father is uninvolved.  And don't orphans always need to fend for themselves?  So I see the numbers.  And I fear all over again.

I cried and prayed the whole drive home.  
Lord, help me believe in the little things that you are my Father!

I walked to the mailbox and pulled out an envelope -- no return address, no name -- just an anonymous "thank you " note with a monetary gift.

I wept for the second time that day.  This time, not in sadness, but in conviction.  How fickle my heart is -- how slow I am to believe who He has declared me to be!

So, anonymous college student -- thank you.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You will never know how timely your gift was.  Your gift was more than just some crisp bills to help us pay for expenses.  Your gift was the eternal truth, and a precious rebuke, that I am a daughter.

Thank you.  
Thank you for helping to open my eyes to see the generous provision of our Father.
Thank you.
Thank you for helping to open my fist on the tight grasp I can have on my possessions.
Thank you.
Thank you for helping to open my heart to the vulnerable, yet completely secure, position of being a loved child.  

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