Wednesday, August 7, 2013

A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

My sweet son,

You are 1 today.

I remember the first time they placed you in my arms, with your fists clenched and eyes shut and vocal chords on display.  I cradled you and whispered again and again, "Mommy's here.  I love you.  And you'll be ok."

And there were nights when you'd scream for food and comfort and clean sheets and I'd rush in and pick you up and hold you to my chest.  And you'd receive nourishment and warmth and love as as I'd whisper these words, "Mommy's here.  I love you.  And you'll be ok." 

And I dropped you off at nursery so I could sit and breathe in the back pew, and you'd be held by someone new and look around for someone familiar.  But after an hour of goldfish and toys and runny noses, I would return and scoop you up, and in between your smiles and giggles I'd reassure you,  "Mommy's here.  I love you.  I told you you'd be ok." 

And you took your first wobbly steps, with brows furrowed and hands outstretched; within just a few days you'd laugh and toddle confidently from couch to chair.  But there were moments when you'd fall down and hit your head hard and cry out.  And I'd run over and pick up your shaking body and hold you tight.  "Mommy's here.  I love you.  And you'll be ok." 

Because right now, little one, we live in a season of Mommy's here moments.  My presence brings healing comfort and my kisses covers the hardest of falls.

But some day, that won't be enough.

Because the day will come when you will lose friends and have your heart broken; you will struggle through friendships and fitting in and making wise choices.  You will wrestle with your faith, your God, your calling, your choices;  you will battle laziness, perfectionism, lust, and lies.  You will question identity and relationships and gifting and dreams.

You'll ask questions that demand more than mommy's here answers. I can't promise you that my presence, or my comfort, will ever be enough.  Because they won't.

But there's a better promise.  Spoken from one Father to one of his children --

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid, and do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

Your True Father, your Heavenly Father, promises forever presence.  He gives lasting comfort.  He gives strength to persevere, answers to hard questions, reasons during real pain.

You Great Father is always here.  And He will always love you.  And if those two things are true, then it will always be ok.

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